Reduced post frequency for the upcoming 2-3 months

I, TLDR

Lately, a lot has happened, and I wanted to share an update with you all. Unfortunately, there’s been a noticeable decline in the frequency of my posts, and I owe you an explanation. The primary reason for this is that I’m currently in the midst of dealing with finals. As some of you might already know, I’m a freshman Computer Science major, and right now, these subjects have not been treating me kindly. The workload and the pressure of exams have been incredibly demanding, leaving me with little time or energy for anything else.

In addition to finals, I’m also preparing for the next stage of my academic journey. After the finals are over, I’ll need to take some time to decompress and vent, which I desperately need after this intense period. But it doesn’t end there; I’ll be enrolling in my university’s boot camp, which will take up about 1.5 months. This boot camp is essential for my learning and growth, but it also means my schedule will continue to be packed and intense.

All in all, this is far from an ideal situation for me. It feels like I have no concrete control over my life for the next 2-3 months. The stress and lack of free time are overwhelming, and it’s been tough to find a balance. This is why, unfortunately, I won’t be able to deliver more posts for the coming months. I genuinely enjoy sharing my thoughts and projects with you, but right now, I have to prioritize my studies and well-being.

If you’re interested in more details or want to hear about my experiences in dealing with this challenging period, I’d be happy to go on a few rants right below. There’s a lot on my mind, and sometimes it helps to just let it all out. Thank you for your understanding and support during this hectic time. I promise I’ll be back with more content as soon as things settle down and I regain some semblance of control over my schedule.

II, Going insane

“I am not fine.”

Admitting to this isn’t something I consider a weakness anymore. Even though I’ve found my passion in coding, tech stuff, and, more recently and surprisingly, math (more on that later), I have to acknowledge that I’m not as strong as I once was. In the past, I might have felt stronger, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I was better. My perspective and ideology have changed over time. Right now, I’m grappling with a lot of existential issues and, dare I say it, schizophrenia, self-isolation, and self-sabotage. Simply put, I can’t say that I’m fine.

I’m not usually the type of person to delve deeply into his feelings, but I feel the need to write this out. It gives me a sense of solidity, a tangible form to my thoughts and emotions. As I mentioned, I no longer see this as a weakness. I don’t care about what others might think or how they might judge me for expressing this. I don’t think reaching out for help from others is a weakness.

Despite these struggles, I’ve been able to find solace in my passions. Coding feels like home to me, and working on tech projects brings me a sense of peace and accomplishment. However, I can’t deny that these personal battles do affect me. They contribute to my current state and make it challenging to maintain the same level of productivity and focus as before.

I’ve discovered a newfound interest in math, which has been both surprising and rewarding. This interest has added another layer to my passion for coding and tech, giving me new challenges to tackle and learn from. Yet, even with these positive developments, the weight of my internal struggles remains.

Reaching out and admitting these feelings is a step towards healing and understanding myself better. It’s a way to confront my challenges head-on, rather than ignoring or hiding them. Writing this out helps me process everything, giving me a sense of control over my emotions and thoughts.

I appreciate the understanding and support of those around me during this difficult time. I know that sharing this might help others realize that they’re not alone in their struggles. We all have our battles, and it’s okay to admit when we’re not okay. It’s okay to seek help and to lean on others for support.

III, Math

One of the most surprising and refreshing developments in my journey has been my newfound interest in math, specifically linear algebra and calculus. For most of my life, I believed I hated math. Reflecting on this, I’ve come to realize that it wasn’t math itself that I disliked but rather the way it was approached and taught to me. The traditional methods and the way the subject was presented often left me frustrated and disengaged.

However, everything changed when I started exploring math on my own terms. I discovered that self-research, particularly through English content and media, was the key to unlocking my understanding. YouTube channels like “3Blue1Brown” have been instrumental in this transformation. The way these resources explain complex concepts in an intuitive and visual manner has opened my eyes to the beauty of math.

For the first time, I feel like I truly understand mathematical material. In well under half a month, I’ve been able to grasp the basics of both linear algebra and calculus. This rapid progress has been incredibly rewarding and has fueled my passion even further. While I must admit that I’m still not very efficient with solving calculation problems, the newfound enjoyment and motivation I have make me confident that I will improve quickly.

This experience has highlighted a crucial lesson for me: the importance of self-exploration in every aspect of life. If you find yourself disliking something, it might just be that the way you were introduced to it was flawed. It’s important not to judge too soon, as I did with math. Rediscovering math has been one of my proudest achievements during this period.

I don’t really care about the grades that rote-learning advocates might assign me. What matters to me is the personal satisfaction and sense of accomplishment I’ve gained from this journey. I’m proud because this is something I was able to achieve on my own. This newfound understanding of math will significantly aid me in my next step-delving into machine learning and AI. I am incredibly excited about the possibilities that lie ahead with this knowledge. It feels like I’ve doubled my range of discovery already, and I can’t wait to see where this path will lead me.

Exploring and learning on your own terms can be a transformative experience. It allows you to find joy and meaning in subjects that once seemed daunting or uninteresting. So, I encourage everyone to take the initiative to explore topics that intrigue them, to find the resources and methods that work best for them, and to never be afraid of revisiting something they once thought they disliked. You might just discover a passion that you never knew existed.

IV, Finals and my university

Welp, as of you reading this post, I’ve finished my freshman year at my university. There were ups and downs, but that’s a story for another time. The main thing I want to address is how this environment has directly influenced why I’m writing this post.

I’ve come to realize that the Vietnamese education system heavily relies on rote learning and concrete memorization. I’m not saying that’s inherently good or bad, nor am I trying to revolutionize anything here, but I do believe that this approach is not for everyone—certainly not for me. For the purpose of this post, I want to narrow it down to my university experience.

So far, everything at my university has felt very dull and unexciting. While I can’t deny that the professors and lecturers are talented, it feels like they can’t fully express themselves to the students, as if something is limiting them. It’s like there’s a barrier preventing them from truly engaging us in a way that sparks our curiosity and creativity.

I want to emphasize that every single project I’ve presented on my blog, every bit of progress I’ve made, has been the result of my own research and trials. The school or anyone else has not had any significant impact on these endeavors. I don’t appreciate the opinions like “everyone goes through that” or “it’s uni, of course you should work by yourself.” I believe we shouldn’t normalize these things. If it’s an issue and it’s directly hurting students’ ingenuity, we should acknowledge it and strive to improve it.

Moreover, I’m also going through a very tiring finals period. Although we only take the subjects we signed up for, usually 6-7, and the exams span an entire month, it’s still incredibly exhausting and has taken a toll on me personally. Between my disappointment in the way things I’m interested in are being overlooked and the stress of finals, there was a moment just three weeks ago when I almost wanted to quit altogether.

Luckily, my newfound interest in math, as mentioned above, came in clutch. Discovering the beauty of linear algebra and calculus has been a beacon of light during this tough period. It’s given me something to look forward to and helped me push through these challenging times.

V, Coding and Current projects

Despite the busy and challenging times I’ve been navigating, I still have a lot of projects that I haven’t covered on this blog. These projects are diverse and exciting, and I’m eager to dive into them and share my findings with you. However, as you’ve been reading, my current circumstances have made it difficult to focus on these endeavors.

Everything in this post is to let you know that detailed write-ups and posts about these projects probably won’t surface until at least 2-3 months later. I appreciate your patience and understanding as I work through this hectic period. Rest assured, I am looking forward to bringing you in-depth explorations and insights into these projects as soon as I can.

VI, Summary

In summary, I’ve been experiencing a challenging period lately, marked by the end of my freshman year at university, struggles with mental health, and the demanding nature of finals. Despite these challenges, I’ve found solace in my newfound interest in math and the comfort of coding. However, the education system’s reliance on rote learning and the dullness of university life have been disappointing. Amidst it all, I have numerous projects waiting to be explored, but due to current circumstances, detailed updates may be delayed for 2-3 months. Until next time - Yuk.